Well, if I wanted a climb, I got one! The journey continues. Most days, I have felt weak and weary and discouraged. I guess that comes with the territory. In a strange way, I sort of feel like a race horse who, after months and months of hard work and training, is finally put into the start gate. It's her time to shine and now she's just waiting....and waiting...and waiting, waiting for that gate to open so she can take off running and win the race.
I had an awesome conversation with a friend last night that was so needed. She reminded me that we, as Christians, are in a war. There is a battle unseen raging around us and an Enemy who would like nothing more than to knock us off course. I forget that...a lot. I forget that the discouragement and the thoughts of being undeserving and feeling like nothing more than a screw-up aren't from the Lord. Oh how quickly I forget His grace. Oh how often I forget that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. Am I deserving? No. Do I have it all figured out? Of course not. I, in myself, have nothing to boast about. All the lies the Enemy whispers to my heart are true...or at least they would be if God hadn't redeemed my life.
My identity is in Christ. Where I am weak, He is strong. Where I am not enough, He is. When something is impossible for me, it isn't for Him. He completes me.
Today, I choose again to surrender to His sovereignty. He's got a plan. He had it in place before the earth was even formed, and even though I may feel so lost and confused and unsure of so many things, He isn't. Today came straight from His drawing room. It has a purpose. I have a purpose.