I place it your hands...

For a long time God was painting with blues, and now he's painting with reds. I'm not sure what it all means and what the purple it is creating will be.

The crazy adventure continues. So much happens every day, both big and small, that I find it impossible to communicate it all to you!

I wish I could though. I wish I could capture it all in movie form and play it before you. There are so many treasures to enjoy.

I continue to walk one foot in front of the other, following that path of open doors that keep unfolding before me. I have reached 47% support, and have one church currently considering supporting me. Apart from that, I have reached an end for contacts and ideas. I'm not sure where the support will come from, but I trust WHO it will come from.

Ministry, however, is at no dead end. I will be appearing as Conductor Courage at the Packinghouse VBS July19-23, doing a 5 minute mission spotlight on Egypt each day and teaching the Bible lesson Friday. The last two weeks I will be coordinating a two-week around the world adventure program for Novaland Youth Development Center. We will be taking the kids around the world, experience culture and traditions and learning about the unreached people of the world. Global Xpress continues to grow with 5 new sign-ups this past month. One of our volunteers stepped up to a full-time volunteer staff member, committing to Global Xpress on a whole new level. We also picked up another long-term volunteer this week in the area of administration and have one college student praying about interning with us full time this summer.

I am so curious to see what He's up to, to see the story continue to unfold. I never know what the next page will be, where the story will go. I am eager to know. Aren't you? :)

Doors wide open

It was an exciting day. I heard word that a church in Muerrita has invited me to come and speak about the US Center and Global Xpress to assist in my support raising. The pastor and elders just want to meet me in person first. In addition, I still have my up coming speaking opportunity at Packinghouse on June 6th at 6:30 pm.

God is doing what He does best. Opening doors no one else can shut and shutting doors no one else can open. I am all out of stops, all out of ideas and contacts. I am just waiting for Him to bring in that last 55%.

I was just working on a bible study for Global Xpress' June issue. We are starting our focus on David. I was reading through 1 Samuel 16 and the anointing of David. It touched my heart so much that David was the last one called. He didn't come from a palace but from the field with the sheep. He wasn't the oldest or finest choice...but He was God's choice. As the Lord said to Samuel several verses prior:

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (v7)

God saw something in David that no other human eye could see. I hope that whatever God saw in David, He sees in me too. I'm so humbled by what He's called me too, so fully aware that I am the LEAST qualified and equipped to do it. But here I am anyways. Oh Lord, you are so full of mercy and grace. Who is like You?

Blessed by the unexpected

A few weeks ago, I told you about an amazing, crazy opportunity that had been placed before me and the Global Xpress. At the time, I didn't know what would happen with it, but I was willing to watch God do something I never imagined.

God very clearly asked me to step out in faith and obedience and pursue sending the very first Global Xpress team to India. It was completely illogical from a human perspective, but I knew I had to obey. So I did.

In the end, it didn't pan out exactly the way we were thinking. We're not able to send the team and some other issues surfaced. However, God sometimes has an unexpected and unseen purpose. Through obedience, I met a girl who was planning on going. She began talking to me through email, asking my opinion on her being the only girl on her team going to India and what things she should expect. I was vulnerable and honest about my own experiences and temptations, and tried to advise her on what to prepare for.

Those initial emails lead to a whole series of conversations about opportunities, motives, and listening to God's voice. I was able to speak to her from my own struggles, and failures, and life-lessons. In the end, she replied:

Carissa!
I really do not know what I would do without your advice. I thank you so much for all of your prayers and your wisdom. It has been good during all of this stress. If you don't mind, I'd like it if you played somewhat of a mentor role in my life. I think it would be cool if you were a mentor for me as far as mission stuff goes. I don't have one and I have been in need of one.Yet, I understand that it's another responsibility, and if you are too busy then that is okay, I really understand. I'll leave that up to you. Thanks sooo much again. - A

I don't know how to express how much this request meant to me, that God would use all that He has patiently taught me in the last three years to impact someone else. And that she would want me, of all people, to mentor her in life and missions!

Thank you Lord, for using the weak and foolish things of this world. May others be able to imitate me because only because I imitate Christ!

Conductor Courages First Big Show!

"Conductor Courage" landed her first job today. I had a wonderful meeting with Packinghouse in Redlands. I was expecting only to meet with their children's pastor about our Global Xpress Sunday School program. There wasn't much discussion needed. His son has been using it for almost two years and loves it. It was all for adding it to their church.

But he ALSO wanted to know if Conductor Courage would come to their VBS in July!! I am so excited! I get to do a missions moment all five days of VBS. In addition, I get to teach their Friday Bible study on Moses and the Exodus, focusing on how God's purpose in all that was to make Himself known!!

I better get shopping! I need some red shoes and overalls!

P.S. In addition, No More Crumbs Ministry (www.nomorecrumbsministry.org) and a children's missions resource center in Tennessee (www.childrenmissionresources.com) have posted Global Xpress on their websites!

I'm not in Kansas anymore

Today was a strange day, like a day in Oz that seemed so real yet so dream-like all at the same time. I awoke early for a meeting with No Crumbs ministry in Brea. Before I could even get out the door, my phone was beeping at me, reminding me I had 3 new emails regarding Global Xpress. Once I picked up a collegue and headed out to Brea, I spent 3 hours enjoying the fellowship of one extremely liked minded sister in Christ who also values the signifcance of children in the Kingdom. If that wasn't enough, she informed me that she wants to let everyone she knows know about the Global Xpress.

After the meeting ended, my phone was flashing with more messages and reminders. Three more emails and two voice mails had come through...all regarding Global Xpress. Just now, another email came through with contact information for several families who are interested in Global Xpress.

I am rather stunned, and yet can't stop smiling. It wasn't lomg ago when we would go months before receiving a single sign-up or inquiry. I used to only check the Global Xpress email account once a week. Now I have to check it hourly!

God is on the move. I only hope I can keep up. He is opening doors that I have been knocking on for two years. I am so excited to see what more is ahead. Just this weekend,
...I reached 40% support, as well as receiving 2 unexpected one time gifts.
...had 3 new kids sign-up for the magazine,
...had 5 churches sign-up for a 30 day trial through our presences at the CMTA conference in Pasadena,
...and began a partnership with No Crumbs Ministry.

This is only a small taste of what is happening everyday. Thank you for making it possible!

P.S. Don't forget! Global Xpress 30th Celebration party is this weekend, 2-6pm!

Great and Unsearchable things

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel. Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful..." Jeremiah 31:3-4

I am dancing again. It feels so amazing, the wind in my hair as I twirl and spin in my Saviors arms. The days since quitting my job have not all been easy and smooth. In fact, they have been quite opposite. But even in the midist of it all, I am dancing again.

God is at work in ways I don't even fully understand or see. An unexpected, possibly great and amazing opportunity fell into my lap today and I am speechless and still before Him as I seek His will about it. I don't know if this is indeed something God wants me to do or where He's leading Global Xpress, but the idea and reality of what He could be doing blows me away.

Although I do not know what tomorrow holds regarding this opportunity, I find myself with a willing and trusting heart. This moment is so sweet. I realize that I finally know and trust that God could do this even if I feel I can't, know that I can trust Him whether the door opens or shuts.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

I am calling.

I am waiting to hear.

Will you join me in praying for wisdom and direction this week? I will share more details as (and if) it pans out, but for now, let us just call out to know those great and unsearchable things!

Happy Easter!

I received an Easter email from a co-worker at the US Center for World Missions. I was in such aggreement with his words that I am sharing them with you. He writes:

Twenty years ago, while in the Air Force, we were flying through Texas at 43,000 feet, usually high enough to go over or skirt around most thunderstorms.That day, they were the blackest I'd ever seen and towering up to 65,000 where airliners do not roam. (Around 60,000 feet human blood begins to turn to gas or "boil.") On the ground, hail was reported the size of golf balls and bigger.

Difficult periods in human history normally had precursors, storms rising on the horizon. Today, we see rain beginning to fall as black clouds are billowing over many spots around the world. Nations are more in debt than ever before, plunging deeper every hour. Humans are referred to as "carbon foot prints." America kills 1.3
million babies a year and China, 8 million. In the West, traditional marriage, family and enduring love is passé. North Korea has nuclear weapons. Iran isn't far behind. In the last 10 years, we've seen an unusual number of tsunamis, once in 200 year earthquakes, hurricanes and typhoons.

1,977 years ago, the sky also grew black at noon when a bright, young Jewish teacher and healer,was nailed on a cross to die. Corrupt and ambitious leaders ruled the day. Jesus' meager band was scattered. Defeated. Or were they?

The message of Passover is about a God who rules in the midst of the storm. Our role is to trust and obey. Paradoxically, the power that raised Jesus from the dead is boldly moving in Iran, China, the Philippines, Korea and other locations. At the US Center for World Mission we are privileged to hear about such work, promote best lessons learned and encourage those who are passionate about the unreached of our planet.

We pray for you ardent faith in the coming days and new wonder in this Passover season.

Dreams Become Reality

My dreams have become reality. I still can't believe it. Every night this week I have shuffled off to bed trying to remember all the things I need to get in order before work the next day, only to remember there is no work! It just so unreal!

But no pinching necessary. This isn't a dream. It's reality. For the first time ever, I am free to give my FULL time and attention to Global Xpress as well as support raising. No more left-overs.

I am so incredibly thankful, excited, humbled, overwhelmed with joy, and so much more! God is at work!

One BIG Week

It's a big week in both my personal life and in ministry.

In 5 days, I will no longer be an employee of DPS. It's hard to imagine that after being here for 2.5 years, but it's really happening.

Today, Global Xpress' 30th issue goes to press. I can't even explain what that means to me because I find myself speechless. God has sustained this little ministry through so many highs and lows. I am so incredibly excited to see what this next season will bring!

Prayer Requests:
- Pray that I will be faithful every remaining minute I have here at work, leaving a memory of goodness, hard work, and love.
- Pray for God's provision for the remaining $1800 in monthly committed support needed to get to Pasadena and serve full time.
- Pray that God would use this 30th issue to impact an entire generation for His global Kingdom and glory among the nations!

A Tribute To My Friend Bob

Thursday, March 11, 2010, my dear friend Bob Albright went home to be with the Lord.

I was at home sick on Thursday morning. I had woke up around 7 o' clock anyways. As I laid on the couch watching t.v., I couldn't help but wonder why on earth God would allow me to get sick and miss work when I only had 3 weeks left! About an hour later, I got the answer to my question. I received a text message announcing that Bob had a blood infection and that the doctors said he only had an hour left to live.

My first instinct was to fall on my face and pray. After pleading for intervention, I threw on the first pair of clothes I could find and headed for the hospital. When I arrived and walked into the room, his heart stopped.

On my way to the hospital, one song kept playing through my mind, and now it echoed even louder...

I stood there thinking as I said goodbye,
today is the first day of the rest of my life

I'm gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge, with out any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out

My friend Bob was running when the sand ran out. He was running hard, too. He may not have been a Billy Graham, but he was a faithful servant. He always had a smile on his face. He always welcomed you in and encouraged you. He loved every child who walked through the doors of our church. And he made us all laugh!

Any second thoughts I had about quitting my job went out the door Thursday. Life is far too short. I want to live each day for His kingdom, pouring out every ounce of my life for His glory and renown.

As the song goes on to say,
And when they carve my stone they'll write these words, "Here lies a [girl] who lived life for all that it's worth."

I want to be like Bob. I want to be running when the sand runs out..

I'm also gonna stop lookin' back and start movin' on
And learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, make my mark
I wanna leave something here
Go out on a ledge, with out any net
That's what I'm gonna be about
Yeah I wanna be runnin'
When the sand runs out

Ready...Set...Leap!!

Today could have possibly been one of the most pivotal moments of my life. Five days ago, God prompted my heart. I fasted, prayed, sought Godly counsel, laughed, cried, jumped for joy, and hid in fear. I never could relate to Noah having been told to build a boat without ever even seeing a drop of rain, but now I do. I'm running full speed ahead towards a brick wall and praying like crazy that a hole appears!!

Today I quit my job....yeah, my only paying, make-me-feel-secure job. That was NOT the plan, not til I reached 50% support anyways. But with only 30%, and another $1997 monthly commitments more to go, I did it anyways!

I'm free falling...and I've never felt so alive. It's sheer abandonment to the cause of Christ. I can't even begin to explain every emotion and the overwhelming love I feel for Jesus and the children of this world.

I am playing a part in making my Savior famous among the nations...there are few sweeter words!

If you haven't already, I invite you to join the journey. I realize this is one of the most wrong ways to do so and the books would slap my hand for it, but God is doing some AMAZING things with and for children. Global Xpress is a small part of that, but an important part. And it expands so far beyond Global Xpress too. You don't want to miss it! It's a investment with far greater value than I even can wrap my mind around! Let's get together and talk about it...

When we are motivated by goals that have deeper meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life. -A calender I looked at in Kinko's today!

Exciting News from the Xpress

God is at work!! There is no doubt about that. In the last month He has provided in so many ways! This month, we redid the Lil Engines magazine, making it more effective and age appropriate for kids! We also were blessed to receive an AMAZING artist to do some cover work and materials for the magazine too! Here are the paper dolls she did for March's issue on Iraq!



Not only is our team growing, but our member base is growing too! We had several past GX kids come back this month and rejoined us on the journey, along with 3 others who renewed! We rejoice in these, because it tells us the Global Xpress is working, drawing these kids deeper to the heart of God and the world He so loves!

Keep praying!

I Found that Which Makes Me Come Alive

I arrived at The Grove Church in Riverside about 5 p.m., and people all around busily went about their work. The day had finally come. The church was hosting the AIDS Experience, a real-life simulation from World Vision that allows adults to experience the lives of children infected or affected by AIDS. The Grove had decided to recreate the experience for its Wednesday night children’s program, and I was invited to be a part of it.

Their main worship room was turned into a miniature African adventure. Colorful photos and fabrics adorned the walls. Six stations were in place for the kids to experience culture, food, sounds, and everyday life. My assignment was to visit two classrooms and share about life in Malawi and my experience there.

Dressed in my hand-made Malawian dress, I set up in the first-grade classroom. About 25 kids listened intently as I shared about the village of Mzuzu, the wood cravers, and the moms who carried their young on their backs. I taught them one of the orphans’ favorite worship songs, and told them about some the kids I had met.

I had the attention of every little pair of eyes in the room as I shared about Lauran and Gift, the young boy and girl who were adopted into the orphanage while I was there. For many years prior to my trip, I explained to the kids, I had prayed often for the orphans of the world. I had asked God over and over to bring each one into a loving home and family. I closed our time together by telling the kids that God let me see the answers to my prayers that day when I witnessed firsthand both Lauran and Gift being rescued and brought into a new family full of God’s love.

I shared with these young disciples how prayer is like a wartime walkie-talkie (a phrase coined by pastor and author John Piper). We discussed how prayer was our direct line to the One in charge. We closed our time by picking three volunteers to come forward and lay their hands over the country of Malawi on my large inflatable globe. Chris, a young and eager blond-haired boy, went first.

"Psssh. Jesus. Come in. Psssh. This is Chris. Psssh. Kids in Africa need help. They need families. Psssh. They also need a good house and food and a bed. Psssh. Take care of it. Psssh. Over and out. Psssh."

You can imagine the smile that spread from ear to ear on my face. This kid got it. He knew who was in charge and who could help! He prayed in great confidence and faith, knowing that God would answer him, just like He answered me.

Driving home that night, I felt so alive. I LOVE doing what I do. Nothing brings me more joy and excitement than teaching kids about the world and opening their eyes to their God-size role in His kingdom work. Watching the excitement in their faces when they are told they can be warriors through prayer now, and not just when the "grow up," fuels my faith in so many ways.

John Piper also once said,

"Whatever you do, find your God-centered, Christ-exalting, Bible-saturated passion of your life, and find your way to say it and live for it and die for it. And you will make a difference that lasts. You will not waste your life."

I have found that passion, and I am more excited than ever that God is opening the door for me to live it out full time. I look forward to so many more opportunities to come, opportunities to "say it and live for it and die for it." Thanks for helping to make that possible.

Mission Spotlight

On January 24th, I will have the opportunity to share about the USCWM and Global Xpress at my church, Calvary Chapel San Bernardino. I will be the focused missionary that day for Mission Spotlight! I am so excited to share about my life and passion with my family there!

Please be praying God stirs the hearts of the people there to give and get involved! I am asking for 100 people at $30 a month.

God's provision Continues

Continual praises as I move forward!

- A family from Switzerland has chosen to give a large, one time gift, as well as join the team in monthly support. This brings me up to almost 24.5%!

- Adding pay pal to the Global Xpress website has proved incredibly fruitful. One new church from Alabama, and 2 so. cal families have joined the journey. That more kids get the magazine and getting to know the world God so loves!

Thanks for your continual prayers! Happy New Year!

Moving forward

Things are moving forward!! My future ministry with the USCWM seems more and more a reality....which makes me more and more excited!

- I have reached 20% of my support goal! Praying God will bring $470 more in monthly commitment by December 31st!

- The staff at the USCWM helped set-up paypal for Global Xpress yesterday so we can now process orders online and with credit cards!

- Last month I moved all my GX supplies to my new office in Pasadena. I continue to work from home, but the non-essentials have found their new resting place there.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support!

Because I'm in love with you...

Thanksgiving has finally come and I find myself most thankful for the fact that I have a 4-day weekend that's not booked with a million places to be. I have been planning for weeks to use these four days (yes, even Thanksgiving day itself!) to accomplish the frightening and ever growing to-do list that has been accumulating for months. I spent all day in my office/room working. Even now, as the day comes to a close, I discover that I somehow found a day's worth of things to do without even touching my page long to-do list or the 8in thick to-do file of paperwork sitting on my desk (no exaggeration there)!

In light of the busyness, and the frustration that comes with it, I have found myself praying urgently for two things lately: the financial support needed to be able to do ministry full time and for God to bring my future husband quick (a balanced help mate!).

I forced myself to take a break right before dinner today and spend some time in the Word. The psalmist cried for God to revive him and for God to show him the depths of His unfailing love. I found myself praying that too, and praying urgently for the things above...all the while surrendering my will to His. It's an interesting state to be in. You want something so bad that you have no control over. All you can do is pray. Yet, not matter how hard and urgently you pray, it doesn't change the Father's will, and you know that. You can kneel and cry and try and "earn" some quickened response, but His perfect timing will prevail.

As I rose from prayer to get ready to leave for the evening, a familiar loved song came on as I was listening to my ipod. I found it easy to sing along with the girl as she said,

"What can I do for You, what can I bring to You, what kind of song would like me to sing. Cause I'll dance a dance for You, pour out my love for You, what can I do for You beautiful King...."

Oh what can I do Lord? I prayed. What can I do to bring these things to pass? What can I do to grow deeper in you so that I'm so fully satisfied that I can do without these things? Why is this process is taking so long...

That's when the song progressed and the Lord's response to her broke through...

"And then I hear you sing to me...

You don't have to do a thing.

Just simple be with me,

and let those things go, cause they can wait another minute.

Wait...

this moment is to sweet.

Would you please stay here with me

and love on me a little longer,

Cause I'd like to be with you a little longer,

cause I'm in love with you...

It hit me like a ton of bricks.."let those things go, cause they can wait another minute."

The work can wait. The future can wait. My desires, and dream, and longings can wait.

There will be plenty of time for all those things but I can hear the Lord asking me through this song, "Would you please stay with me and love on me a little longer? Would you take the opportunity now to learn from simply being in my presence? Would you love on me and sit in intimacy with me before things do change and people and things fight even more for your attention?

I don't know about you, but the word "wait" probably brings a twitch of fear and frustration and maybe even pain at it's sound. But what if we started hearing these words in it's place? What it "wait" was code for the Lord saying to your heart...

Slow down your busy mind, and your busy world and just be with me...

You got to learn to just rest, just realize

Hear me say you don't have to do a thing

just simply be with me

and let it all go...

cause it doesn't even really matter.

Just wait cause this moment is to sweet,

would you please stay here with me

and love on my a little longer...

cause I love to be with you a little longer...

cause I'm in love with you.

I'm IN LOVE with you.

-Jesus

I'm praying that the Lord will help me heed that, no matter how long the to-do list, how frustrating the day, or how anxious I am to move forward into full time ministry at the USCWM (or even in finding my future husband, if the Lord wills!). And I'm praying that for you too, because there have been fractions of times when I did get it, when I did just simply be with Him...and those moments are indeed too sweet to waste.

*Song: "A Little Longer (live) by Brian and Jenn Johnson

What if? A Video of Vision

Here is the vision of all I do and am aiming to do (in 3 m and 30 sec anyways!)

This is War

Well, if I wanted a climb, I got one! The journey continues. Most days, I have felt weak and weary and discouraged. I guess that comes with the territory. In a strange way, I sort of feel like a race horse who, after months and months of hard work and training, is finally put into the start gate. It's her time to shine and now she's just waiting....and waiting...and waiting, waiting for that gate to open so she can take off running and win the race.
I had an awesome conversation with a friend last night that was so needed. She reminded me that we, as Christians, are in a war. There is a battle unseen raging around us and an Enemy who would like nothing more than to knock us off course. I forget that...a lot. I forget that the discouragement and the thoughts of being undeserving and feeling like nothing more than a screw-up aren't from the Lord. Oh how quickly I forget His grace. Oh how often I forget that He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. Am I deserving? No. Do I have it all figured out? Of course not. I, in myself, have nothing to boast about. All the lies the Enemy whispers to my heart are true...or at least they would be if God hadn't redeemed my life.
My identity is in Christ. Where I am weak, He is strong. Where I am not enough, He is. When something is impossible for me, it isn't for Him. He completes me.
Today, I choose again to surrender to His sovereignty. He's got a plan. He had it in place before the earth was even formed, and even though I may feel so lost and confused and unsure of so many things, He isn't. Today came straight from His drawing room. It has a purpose. I have a purpose.

Lessons from the climb

Being a Disney fan, I often find myself being one of those cheesy girls who actually does enjoy their movies and music. As lame as it may be, there is some great truths in them at times. While listening to "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus, I couldn't help but sing out in agreement. Her lyrics struck the strings of my heart. It's been an incredibly long journey since college graduation in May 2007. It's hard to imagine that that event only took place two years ago. So much has happened. So much has changed. My life has been completely remodeled. Even now, as the storm passes and light reappears and I can almost see that "dream I've been dreamin", the change continues. Just when I think I've made it to the top, another hill appears. It just keeps going. God keeps challenging...keeps rearranging...keeps pushing me forward.
It continues to strike me over and over that it really is all about "the climb." I'm such a goal oriented person. I see the end product. I see the top of the mountain and I'm incredibly focused on getting there. But over the last two years, God has challenged me in that area. Is it really all about getting to the top? What if what's at the top, although in appearance more glorious, is in all actuality far less beautiful than what's along the path I need to climb to get there? I'm so tired of rushing ahead, or being in a hurry.
This fast-paced girl finds herself wanting to fully enjoy this moment, for, as Steven James says in his book Heart Exposed, "This moment is all that [God] asks of me. I can either give it to [Him], or turn it into a fist and try to keep it to myself. And fail." Timing really is EVERYTHING, and it is His timing that is perfect. He has never been late. And He's never been early either. What He is doing now, during this moment, in me though this climb can never be replaced by the mountain top. I would not know Him as I do now if things went the way I planned them, when I planned them. No, this moment is all too sweet. I know fully well that I can not even begin to see all that is happening now in and around me that is preparing me for what's ahead and healing me from what has already passed. So, Miley may be right..."The struggles I'm facing, the chances I'm taking, sometimes might knock me down but I'm not breaking. I may not know it. But these are the moments that I'm going to remember most...

It's not about how fast I get there.
It's not about what's waiting on the other side.
It's the climb.